Michael’s smile was back, the one his family had missed for so long. After years of struggling with addiction, he was beginning to rebuild his life. He completed a 30-day residential treatment program and stayed connected with an outpatient therapist. His days were structured- work, support meetings, time with family- and for the first time in years, they started to hope. They dared to believe the worst was behind them. He was even planning a family vacation and had just signed a lease for his first apartment in years. The excitement was palpable.
But addiction is relentless, and recovery is rarely linear. One evening, after a particularly hard day, Michael told his mother he was skipping his meeting, reassuring her with, “I’ve got this.” They didn’t think much of it; after all, he had come so far. But what they didn’t know was that the shame of a recent argument with a coworker had been gnawing at him. Alone in his new apartment, Michael reconnected with an old friend from his past. “Just one time”, he thought- just one drink to unwind, just one hit to forget. But that one moment spiraled out of control…
Hours later, his mother got the call no parent ever wants to receive. Michael was found unresponsive, and by the time paramedics arrived, it was too late. His family was devastated. He had been doing so well- or so it seemed. They were left shattered, grappling with how things went from hopeful to tragic so quickly. How did this happen you ask? We have a few thoughts:
Overlooked Warning Signs: Recognizing What We Might Miss
Even when a loved one appears to be on the right path, addiction has a way of resurfacing in subtle ways. Below are some signs that are easy to overlook but may signal a person is struggling beneath the surface. This list is non-exhaustive, and each person’s recovery journey is unique. These insights, however, can help loved ones recognize potential red flags:
A Growing Sense of Isolation
• After reconnecting with loved ones, someone in recovery may suddenly start canceling plans, skipping family events, or withdrawing from friends. This may be mistaken as “just needing some space,” but isolation can be a sign of emotional struggle or relapse risk.
2. Overconfidence in Recovery
• Phrases like “I don’t need support meetings anymore” or “I’ve got this under control” may reflect overconfidence. While everyone does not require self-help meetings to recover, those that take this route and make them part of their recovery plan, may benefit from their continued support. In this case, discontinuation of meetings can lead to complacency and a lowered guard, making relapse more likely.
3. A Shift in Routine
• Recovery thrives on consistency. A person suddenly missing therapy appointments or changing their daily habits- like skipping workouts or eating erratically- may be showing early signs of emotional distress.
4. Sudden Financial Problems
• Unexpected financial stress, unexplained withdrawals, or borrowing money without a clear reason could indicate relapse, as people may try to hide substance use.
5. Mood Instability
• Uncharacteristic anger, irritability, or anxiety may be signs of internal conflict or unresolved cravings. Loved ones may dismiss these as “bad days,” but they can signal deeper issues.
6. Renewed Contact with Old Friends or Environments
• If someone reconnects with people from their past life in addiction, or visits old hangouts, they may be testing boundaries, putting their recovery at risk.
7. Subtle Changes in Language
• Pay attention to phrases like, “I miss how things used to be” or “It’s hard being good all the time.” These can signal emotional fatigue or romanticizing the past; thus, increasing the likelihood of relapse.
8. Decline in Self-Care
• Neglecting personal hygiene, eating poorly, or sleeping too much or too little are often overlooked as signs of relapse risk.
Healing Through Advocacy: How to Move Forward
The loss of a loved one to overdose brings overwhelming grief, trust us- we know first hand that healing is not linear. Many find solace in advocacy- turning pain into purpose and hope. Here are a few tips to consider when navigating life after the loss of a loved one. We hope that these can help you, as they’ve helped us:
1. Give Yourself Permission to Grieve Deeply
• It’s natural to feel overwhelmed by sadness, confusion, or even anger. Grieving takes time, and you don’t need to “stay strong” for others. Seek support through grief counselors, therapists, or peer groups that understand loss from overdose.
2. Create Purposeful Memorials
• Consider ways to honor your loved one’s memory beyond a traditional memorial service. Fund a scholarship in their name, that’s what we did here:
You can also consider participating in an Overdose Awareness Day event, or organize your own fundraiser to support addiction treatment organizations.
3. Learn About Harm Reduction Practices
• Even if your loved one has passed, harm reduction knowledge is essential to help others. Familiarize yourself with Narcan and find local organizations that offer free training. Becoming an advocate for harm reduction can prevent future tragedies.
4. Channel Grief into Advocacy and Policy Change
• Personal stories are powerful tools for change. Consider sharing your experience at community events or with lawmakers. Your story can promote awareness, shift policy, and reduce stigma surrounding addiction.
5. Find a Support Network That Understands
• It’s important to connect with others who’ve been through similar losses. Organizations like GRASP (Grief Recovery After a Substance Passing) offer compassionate support for those grieving an overdose. These communities remind you that you are not alone.
6. Know the Difference Between Grief and Guilt (This may be the most important tip we can offer)
• It’s natural to replay events in your mind, wondering what you could have done differently. Remember that addiction is a chronic illness. Relapse is often part of the recovery journey, and no single action could have guaranteed a different outcome. IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT!
7. Take Steps to Reintroduce Joy into Your Life
• Finding moments of peace or joy may feel impossible at first, but healing involves embracing the small things. Whether it’s listening to music, spending time in nature, or picking up a hobby, these moments are part of rebuilding life.
8. Use Your Experience to Support Others
• Your insights are invaluable. Pay attention to others in your circle who may be struggling and offer your support. Sometimes, recognizing and addressing subtle signs early on can save lives.
Turning Tragedy into Hope
Families like ours, shattered by loss, can eventually find a way forward by creating a recovery scholarship in his name. Scholarships can help fund education, or training, turning our loved one’s lives into symbols of hope. Their stories can continue to inspire others to fight stigma, educate communities, and save lives.
Losing someone to overdose will never make sense, but every step you take to heal and advocate ensures that your loved one’s story is not defined by their final moments. Their life (and your love) can still make an impact, bringing light to others in their darkest times.
If you’ve received the call, know that you are not alone. We are with you. Grief may feel all-consuming, but over time, you will discover new ways to heal, find hope, and make a difference. Every step forward, no matter how small, honors your loved one and builds a future where more lives can be saved.
This list is non-exhaustive. Each person’s recovery journey and response to loss is unique. Be kind to yourself, seek support, and take each day as it comes. Healing is a journey- but you don’t have to walk it alone.
About Jamelia Hand, CEO of Vantage Clinical Consulting LLC
Jamelia Hand is a healthcare leader and CEO of Vantage Clinical Consulting LLC with over 20 years of experience in substance/opioid use disorder treatment, mental health services, and harm reduction strategies. She partners with organizations to improve patient care, enhance compliance, and build sustainable solutions for addiction recovery. Jamelia is passionate about advocacy, education, and helping families find healing after loss.
Through her work and mentoring, Jamelia equips professionals and families with tools to navigate complex challenges, reminding them that recovery is possible and advocacy is powerful.
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